soulhalshall
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Post by soulhalshall on Jan 9, 2021 21:44:43 GMT
This is borderline morbid but it isn't meant in the way it could be taken. Who or what keeps you going, ticking over or carrying on with hope or excitement or expectation or desire or duty or whatever else?
I always felt as though ambitions kept me going. To finally snog someone, to write a book, get a particular job or progress in a particular workplace, and so on. But then I realised I'd lost the ambitions I had had when I was younger and hadn't really replaced them with very much. I have lost any professional ambition, many of the clear personal ambitions. Now my best answer to what keeps you going is my children but then is more required for a healthy existence, because you then end up living through someone else?
I'm interested really. I am not wholly depressed but possibly a bit of me is. I am happy with little bits and pieces, nice walks, nice wins, nice beers, etc, but do we need something overarching, even if temporary and replaceable, to keep us ticking over? Meaning of life type stuff this is a bit.
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Post by champair79 on Jan 9, 2021 21:56:55 GMT
It’s an interesting question soulhalshall.
I felt through my school years and my early to mid 20s that, like you, ambition kept me going. It was always the next hurdle to jump over and to achieve your dream. I’m one of the few people where I eventually achieved my dream job. It was a funny realisation shortly after that the drive I had through my entire life (basically since I was a toddler) basically vanished overnight once I’d ‘done it’. The thought of “now what?” often fills my mind.
I have a young family which COVID has split (they’re overseas and practically speaking I can’t see them because of enforced state quarantine). The industry I work in has been ravaged although I’m lucky in that I’ve kept my job. At the moment I feel like I’m treading water and putting all my efforts into sustaining my young family. From a individual point of view, not a lot keeps me going. The news is permanently depressing, national lockdowns, pay cuts, isolation. It’s tough. When I feel really low, I just remind myself that I have my health, my job (although I’ve barely worked for months) and I’m not drowning in debt. There are always people far worse off than yourself.
In summary, taking care of and seeing my family keeps me going plus the COVID finish line (wherever that is). Material things - buying a house, car, fancy restaurants etc etc have been relegated far down the list of essentials. I just live day to day now and try not to sweat the big stuff. I know people have views on elite sport and whether it should or shouldn’t continue but for me, looking forward to the next U’s game is worth a lot for my mental health while we try navigate the coldest and darkest months. Things can only get better.
Nick
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kentishu
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Post by kentishu on Jan 10, 2021 0:14:27 GMT
This is going to sound arrogant so sorry. It's a really stupid question and asking it is a conceit. If you are healthy and have some choices, why wouldn't you keep going? You have one life, it is precious and delicate, so treasure it. Avoid being spoilt and cynical and you might even enjoy it.
Kentish
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soulhalshall
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Post by soulhalshall on Jan 10, 2021 6:09:08 GMT
Wondering about things or considering bits and pieces about life is alright, I think, it might lead one to find out more about oneself or find different happiness or enjoyment.
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Andrewlang
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Post by Andrewlang on Jan 10, 2021 10:02:19 GMT
"Wondering about things or considering bits and pieces about life is alright, I think, it might lead one to find out more about oneself or find different happiness or enjoyment"
Agreed, though I think there is good and bad to be found from doing so. I'm quite an introspective person generally (as you appear to be from your posts, if you don't mind me saying), so find myself asking stuff like this often.
I find it can be quite meditative to think about the meanings of your life, or life in general, and I do feel you can grow as a person when you reflect on how you see yourself or the world around you.
Negative thoughts can also be invasive, mind. At least they can for me. I kind of welcome them as well though (at times) as I think that subconscious 'challenge' to your surface level thoughts and personal bias can lead to a certain amount of healthy self awareness I don't always observe in others.
Andrew
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Post by Russ Greaves on Jan 10, 2021 10:24:44 GMT
I sometimes fret about the impermanence of life but have concluded it is that very thing which lends it meaning. If we could live forever, who would care about any given moment knowing for sure it can and will happen again?
It’s about as cliche as you can be on the subject, but happiness must be the greatest thing you can achieve in life. A foundational happiness, drawn from things that are constant (as constant as things can be in an impermanent existence!) rather than fleeting, is where it’s at. So for me that comes from my family and friends.
On top of that it’s important to experience those fleeting moments which come from more specific things, which I get from travel, sport, work and engaging my brain in stuff that interests me.
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kentishu
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Post by kentishu on Jan 10, 2021 11:14:18 GMT
Wondering about things or considering bits and pieces about life is alright, I think, it might lead one to find out more about oneself or find different happiness or enjoyment. Yes, but asking "what keeps you going?' with the implication that it might be nothing isn't helpful and at least to me it is rather self-indulgent. 'Wonder' in its wider sense is a large part of the answer. A better question might be 'what makes you happy?' or 'How should one make the most of life?'. I think Russ's answer is too narrow, I would go for 'authentic experience of a wide range of emotions'. Kentish
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Mark of Carnage
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Post by Mark of Carnage on Jan 10, 2021 11:18:49 GMT
Find myself drawn to that quote from Leo Buscaglia 'a single rose is my garden and a single friend is my world'. That's what keeps me going, that and an optimism that our species is slowly moving in the right direction towards enlightenment and alturism towards one another and the planet where eventually there will be no money or yearning for material things and we live our lives each towards their ability and each towards their needs. I am certain these things will happen as we mature as a sentient species over the coming centuries though of course it will be a bumpy ride. I think we all have a responsibility to keep our minds open and be open to doing activities that move our species forward toward that goal so our fleeting existance as an individual has added meaning and value outside of ourselves but as an individual the simple epitaph on Charles Burkowski's tombstone 'Don't Try' also resonates with me. Just let it happen.
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soulhalshall
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Post by soulhalshall on Jan 10, 2021 11:21:01 GMT
Wondering about things or considering bits and pieces about life is alright, I think, it might lead one to find out more about oneself or find different happiness or enjoyment. Yes, but asking "what keeps you going?' with the implication that it might be nothing isn't helpful and at least to me it is rather self-indulgent. 'Wonder' in its wider sense is a large part of the answer. A better question might be 'what makes you happy?' or 'How should one make the most of life?'. I think Russ's answer is too narrow, I would go for 'authentic experience of a wide range of emotions'. Kentish I don't know if the implication was that nothing keeps me/us going. Just pondering. I think a lot of wondering when it comes to ourselves is rather self-indulgent, but that's okay, who better to indulge us than ourselves? But I certainly don't disagree that there are many better questions, just that one came to mind when I was thinking.
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Post by Russ Greaves on Jan 10, 2021 12:19:49 GMT
Wondering about things or considering bits and pieces about life is alright, I think, it might lead one to find out more about oneself or find different happiness or enjoyment. Yes, but asking "what keeps you going?' with the implication that it might be nothing isn't helpful and at least to me it is rather self-indulgent. 'Wonder' in its wider sense is a large part of the answer. A better question might be 'what makes you happy?' or 'How should one make the most of life?'. I think Russ's answer is too narrow, I would go for 'authentic experience of a wide range of emotions'. Kentish Fair. I’d subscribe to that, albeit with the caveat that there are things I’d never wish to experience! But, yes, a broad range of experiences and emotions can lend more weight and value to each. If you were just happy all the time, you might never know true happiness, as contradictory as that may sound.
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cambcam
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Post by cambcam on Jan 10, 2021 12:22:49 GMT
I think your thoughts and questions are perfectly understandable. You’d have to be an automaton for the lockdown not to have had a significant affect and amplified or exposed emotions that you’d previously managed - or at least thought you were managing.
Everyone needs direction and focus, a goal. It’s surprising what you can cope with when you have those, but without them it can seem impossible. Covid has changed everything - those that have had direction and focus will find their pathways altered, and those without it can find the pursuit overwhelming and demoralising. Placing yourself positively in the context of others less fortunate is helpful short term, but unrealistic as a permanent solution. I’ve struggled hugely with the loss of control and paralysis over direction since Covid. No longer taking things for granted and greater empathy are positives, but with those come guilt and confusion as to why the struggle is so hard at times.
I think direction and focus is a form of ‘hope’, which we all need - it can be very easy to be critical of others sometimes, but perhaps these times will make those who have had it and are seeing its vulnerability for the first time appreciate the difficulty of those in the position of never having had it at all.
How we get that focus or even maintain it if we already have it is another matter. It’s no wonder we are asking ourselves “What keeps you going?” in the meantime.
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